How Did You Find Me Here?

Tonight I fell in sorrow
And knew I was alone
A dozen good time friendships
But my heart is still unknown
I thought I saw your footsteps
In the sand along the shore
And I mumbled empty phrases that sang so well before

Now inches from the water – about to disappear
I feel you behind me, but how did you find me here?

I couldn’t reach for rescue
I hid myself from view
I couldn’t stand to see me
From your point of view
Cause I knew I’d disappoint you
If I showed to you this child
Who is crying out inside me, lost in the wild

Now inches from the water
About to disapper
I feel you behind me
But how did you find me here?
I feel you behind me…

Laughing in the water
Wash away the tears
I feel you behind me
But how did you find me here?
I feel you behind me
But how did you find me here?

It never ceases to amaze me how certain songs that I have heard many times before suddenly gain new meaning and crystallize the haze of emotions in which I always find myself.

Tonight I fell in sorrow,
And knew I was alone.

Except the night actually lasted a month. It might not have been so long, if I weren’t so prideful, but I was… am. But there is a light. God is faithful and I am beginning to see that.

A dozen good time friendships
But my heart is still unknown

This verse basically sums up the ache I’ve felt for over 6 years. And sadly it’s probably that modest pride that keeps me from experiencing deeper relationships. It is a pride that is also an anti-pride, such that I want either to be a consistently deep person, or I want to wallow in artificiality.

But God is faithful. This I trust.

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